i love the word plethora.
it’s fun to say.
ok, now it just sounds dirty. i think i ruined the word a little.
life is full of little misses.
perhaps you missed your calling in life.
eh, don't worry about missing that one, those calls usually come in collect.
perhaps you missed the point, until it poked your eye out.
and you might need that eye, for beauty, beholding, and crap.
perhaps you missed your stop.
nothing can really help you there.
might as well man up about it.
man up, as if you can suddenly put balls on and deal with a situation better.
it would seem to me they would just get in the way.
boyz II men has a new album out. as they are no longer boys, perhaps they should change their name and be called men II death?
pushing me will not get you home any faster.
next stop. back off.
i would rather not stop in the name of love.
i will, however stop in the name of steve.
i don’t know a steve, but i enjoy the name.
wait, wait, wait! how do i not know a steve? this is actually upsetting me now. surely i know a steve. holy crap. i can’t think of a steve i know!
this will be my mission for the next week.
did you paper cut yourself?
bad moods come in threes.
i’ve always been more of an odd number person.
perhaps this explains my love of blackjack.
i like naming inanimate objects.
i named my friend’s kidney stone, joan.
and not because it rhymed, it just seemed like a good name for a kidney stone.
this week in jenna theatre – jenna is on the phone for her job, trying to convince people to use their internet access instead of the printed version which they normally receive, she places a call to an older distinguished professor from california, whom shall be called steve. she has made her pitch and is waiting to hear his reply.
steve- what is going green? i don’t understand going green.
jenna – oh, it’s just a saying. basically it’s just means trying to take care of the environment, you know, going green!
steve – i don’t understand. you want me to go green?
jenna – well, i mean, you can do what you want, we’re just letting you know there’s another option if you’re interested. we can still send you the paper copy if you’d like.
steve – tree hugger bullshit?
jenna – no, just trying to…
steve - are you from the democratic party?
jenna – umm, no..i’m from **place of work**
steve – those damn democrats keep calling me. wanting me to vote for the gays.
jenna – oh. ok. well, i’m not calling from them…
steve – i like the gays, don’t get me wrong. i’m not one of those homophobes or anything.
jenna – right. (silence) so, i’ll just send you the information on paper then…
i really hate the phone.
i sound like a 4 year old.
here’s hoping you and your's have a happy holiday, don’t eat too much, but please, whatever you do….try to drink too much.