The Art of Rambling

don't be offended, it's not like i know you.

i'm in love with cesar milan

as some one who is so small, i find irony in how much i suck at small talk.

half the time i feel like a pig in a party dress.

why are so many girls so stupid over boys.

i like to eat jello with a plastic fork.

if you think you talk to much, you should probably shut the fuck up.

sometimes i think i am broken beyond repair.

i have a love hate relationship with 99% of everything in my life. the other 1% is not worth my time, but i keep it around for looks.

toga, toga, toe GA. to go.

you know times are tough when drug dealers start making sales calls.

sooo why is H&R Block turning itself into match.com?

i have passive-aggressive pure hatred towards someone. i feel slightly confused but this, which only exonerates the issue.

i spent 3 hours at the mall this weekend. further confirming my notion that the mall is hell. and teenagers are it's minions.

poop. that word makes me giggle. yes i am 4.

i wish i was an heiress...to something cool...like popcorn...i could be the jiffy pop heiress...or deodorant. where's my silver spoon, dammit!

i like animals better than people.

someone told me coke zero is diet coke for men.

there are flowers on my desk that are now dead. i cannot seem to throw them away.

i miss vodka. belvedere, it's been too long.....

anything you can do, i can do better. i can do anything, better than you. no you can't. yes i can. no you can't. yes i can.

i hate the phone. it is evil.

i posted some 25 thing bullshit on facebook recently. it amazes me that the one thing everybody had a problem with was me not finding babies cute. just because i am a woman, does not mean my empty womb crumbles every time i see a little baby in a basket. in fact, it makes me gag a little. and want a drink.

i think i will become one of those crazy cat ladies. oh, or dog ladies. are there crazy dog ladies?

PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET

and remember, knock 3 times on the ceiling, if you want me....