Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Art of a Martini, Shaken and Stirred

why would you ask me about pickles?

some people just look like epic tools.

i find that after doing all the necessary research, i am in fact, pro-biotics.

my kitties are not longer little balls of fun and furry love.

they are now vicious carriers of static and shock me at every opportunity.

do we really need to bring awareness to child abuse?

are there really people out there who are not aware this is happening?

looking around on the bus i realize i have no idea how to dress for winter.

seriously, am i the only one affected by static electricity?

i finally figured out the difference between affect and effect, but i forgot.

my vocabulary shrinks significantly when i have to spell.

music is like music to my soul.

you better get on the bus.

you never know when the next one will show up.

i hate study guides. they make me feel even more confused.

i am convinced my spell checker is constantly fucking with me.

it knows perfectly well what i am trying to spell.

It is cold out here.

in addition to being cold, it is also hard for a pimp.

i have trust issues, trust me.

trust no one because the truth is out there.

it will also set you free.

enjoy it while it lasts.

This week in jenna theatre, jenna is crammed into the bus with what feels like an incorrect ratio of air to people. A woman next to jenna starts trying to talk to her. despite their uncomfortably close proximity, the woman begins to yell.
WOMAN – HAVE YOU DONE ALL YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING YET?
jenna – what?
WOMAN - HAVE YOU DONE YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING YET?
jenna – not yet. i’ve been busy.
WOMAN – YOU BETTER GET ON THAT SOON. WHY HAVEN’T YOU DONE IT YET? THEY ARE ALL JUST WAITING TO JACK UP THE PRICES. THAT’S WHAT THEY DO. SCREW YOU OVER.
jenna – oh.
WOMAN – DO YOU NOT HAVE A MOTHER?
jenna – ummm…?
WOMAN – YOU MUST NOT HAVE A MOTHER.
jenna – i have a mother.
WOMAN – THEN YOU MUST BREAK HER HEART EVERY SINGLE DAY.
jenna – probably.
WOMAN – YOUR POOR MOTHER. YOU HAD BETT ER BUY HER A CHRISTMAS PRESENT.
jenna – i’m sorry, i can’t hear you, what?
WOMAN – YOUR POOR…
jenna – hmmm sorry, just too loud in here. oh well, my stop….

sometimes it is better to take the next bus, after all.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Art of Playing with Your Friend's Food

i once used a toilet so new it has the price tag still on it.

the toilets in home depot really should be labeled better.

sometimes i feel like i am talking and no one is listening.

maybe because i don't use correct spelling.

i love when i make notes to myself for this blog and see them days later.

choke fish.

that's all i wrote.

any clues?

i'm sure it would have been some witty observation.

but now, i got nothing.

it's hard to work with people who are always wrong when you are always right.

not many people will sit next to a girl in a panda hat.

i feel as right as rain, which is never right and even harder to write.

you should never be left to your own devices.

unless that device is a gps.

what did people do before hand sanitizers?

it’s a dirty world out there.

when people tell me they don’t have tv’s, i start to wonder what’s wrong with them.

what do you do at night?

this week in jenna theatre, jenna is corresponding with a group member by email for an upcoming school project. the name has been changed and the project is vague.
to: steve
from : jenna
subject : the project

hey are you ready to work on the presentation? how do you want to work on this?

to : jenna
from: steve
subject : re the project

yo. um. i think that we should do a powerpoint.

to: steve
from : jenna
subject : re: re: the project

i mean which article should we focus on. i feel like the third one would be the best. we can just break it up into parts really easily.

to : jenna
from: steve
subject :re: re: re: the project

wait. what article?

to: steve
from : jenna
subject : re: re: re: re: the project

um…the third one…the harrisburg one?

to : jenna
from: steve
subject : re: re: re: re: re: the project

for what class.

to: steve
from : jenna
subject : re: re: re: re: re: re: the project

? we only have one class together.

to : jenna
from: steve
subject : re: re: re: re: re: re: re: the project

oh found it!

to: steve
from : jenna
subject : re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re the project

awesome. so, does that work?

to : jenna
from: steve
subject : re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: the project

yup. i’ll start on the powerpoint and send it to you when i’m done.


to : jenna
from: steve
subject : re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: the project

i’m sorry j, i couldn’t do the powerpoint, my email isn’t working.

to: steve
from : jenna
subject : re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: the project

…then how did you send this?

to : jenna
from: steve
subject : re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: re: the project

oh, right…

and people wonder why i drink.