i feel depressingly optimistic.
i am a victim of joy today. i hope it will be gone by tomorrow.
sometimes tequila seems like the answer.
but you usually forget the question.
golf groupies, you say?
there's a fine line between bad ass and dumbass.
but in the end, you're still an ass.
at least you have an ass.
half the people i know are trying to lose their ass, while the other half is trying to get an ass.
the other few are dating an ass, while some are busy being an ass.
i hardly notice anyone's ass, but i always notice when someone's being an ass.
somethings the gym just can't fix.
maybe you should try to work on yourself.
i hate when people say, "i'm going to work on myself."
like you're some kind of robot that can be tinkered with in the shop.
i guess you could always outsource. it seems to work for everyone else.
forget a christmas tree, nothing says happy holidays like a christmas shed.
i need a disposable income.
or an income.
fun fact, you can fall off a stationary bike.
when in doubt, enjoy the chocolate.
champagne is an evil, snarky little drink, with such a cute name.
most people are not to be missed.
most people have a few screws missing.
most people feel like they missed the boat.
but what they fail to realize is that water transportation is highly unreliable. they would have done better to walk.
while i strive to be a happy person, i do enjoy a taste of a deliciously bad mood. there's something quite savory about being annoyed at everything.
it makes the mind work at a different speed.
i like to lay all my thoughts on the ground and roll around in them.
makes for an entertaining sunday afternoon.
nothing makes a hot subway ride go by faster than slow track signals and a screaming baby.
just another day.
this week in jenna theatre - jenna is going to a open air market in union square. as she is about to enter the market, a man approaches her, thinking it is a petition for something, jenna stops.
man - do you live in ny?
jenna - yes.
man - where do you get your hair cut? (looks away distracted)
jenna - uh my sister does it.
man – (looking around – laughing)
jenna – umm…ok…
man – how much does she charge?
jenna – well, nothing, it’s free.
man - you should cheat on your sister (laughs)
jenna - ummm
man – (singing under his breath)
jenna – i’m good, but thanks.
man - no really. i mean, you can go to a top salon, that’s why we’re out here.
jenna – i’m ok. i don’t need all that.
man – no! listen (laughs) you can get a 100 haircut, a facial, an eyebrow wax, for nothing next to nothing! it’s ridiculous. you'll definitely want to do this.
jenna - uh no thanks, i'm really poor and my sister does my hair and...
man - (looking away) free obama condom for when things get hard
jenna - what?
man – it’s only 60 bucks.
jenna – you want me to buy a 60 dollar obama condom?
man – haha, no i was kidding. 60 for the haircut, the facial, the waxing, the massage, i mean, come on!
jenna - umm i'm really poor and i have to go now, but thanks…
man – how much would you pay?
jenna – umm, for a haircut? nothing, my hair cuts are FREE.
man – bitch.
ahh, nothing in the world quite puts you in the christmas spirit like a few hours in new york city.