i feel like i was hit by a bus.
or at the very least, one of those taxi vans.
what should you do if you think your friend bought a one-way ticket on the STD train?
after watching, romeo and juliet the ballet, i had several questions rolling around in my head.
the question that bugged me the most, however, was what the fuck is the friar doing with fucking poison that makes you look like you're dead?
seriously. why would a friar ever have the need for such a specific poison, much less just have it lying around his crib?
seems mighty sketchy to me. i think i smell a prequel...
sometimes going to the gym makes me realize 6-packs have been given to unworthy people.
days like today, i'd like nothing more than to go home and curl up with a good vodka.
i've been trying to cut back on the socially drinking thing, but now i have nothing to blame the social awkwardness on.
i'm way witty when whiskey is involved.
is anything ever that easy?
i've often found that if it's easy come, it's never easy go.
when someone tells you to take it easy in an argument or confrontation, why does it provoke the opposite reaction?
ask a dyslexic if it really is as easy as a, b, c.
that’s easy for you to say. well, technically, with very few exceptions, it’s easy for everyone to say. it’s just not easy for everyone to mean it.
easy does usually do it, unless you're trying to break down a door. then easy is completely useless.
while i have met plenty of people who are easy on the eyes, i've also met some people who were hard on the eyes. seems counter-intuitive.
that’s not an easy word to spell.
you don't have to let me off easy, i know i'm hard to handle.
it’s so easy it’s like a cake walk.
seems to me, a cake walk would be a rather difficult thing.
like what shoes does one wear to walk on a cake?
does one have to have a specific cake in mind, or can you just troll the neighborhood looking for a 6 year old's birthday party.
do you eat the cake afterwards?
seems like a waste of perfectly good cake to me.
this week in jenna theatre, while jenna is on her way to a run in central park. due to construction, the subways are all running on different schedules. double checking what she thinks to be the correct path, she asks the toll both attendant for assistance.
jenna – just checking are all trains stopping at 72nd street?
attendant – train is making express stops
jenna – does that include 72nd street?
attendant – what?
jenna – 72nd street!
attendant – come through the turnstile, i can’t hear you.
(jenna goes through)
attendant – you know you have to pay to get back through.
jenna – then why did you call me over here?
attendant – i couldn’t hear you over the train.
jenna – train?
attendant – train….(points)
jenna – (train comes…and leaves while jenna tries to get her card to magically swipe, an annoying feature in unlimited metro cards)
attendant – that’s the train you needed.
i guess that’s what i get for taking the easy way out.