Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Art of a Very Brady Sequel

apparently i’m a little intense sometimes.

i personally prefer enthusiastically focused.

someone recommended meditation to me, as a way to calm down and focus.

it’s hard to meditate when you have the hiccups.

also, mediation is boring as shit.

you know what is really annoying?

optimistic people.

nothing pisses me off more than a mary sunshine coming a long to cast a silver lining on my bad mood.

i’m trying to be emo here.

i was informed that gambling is prohibited on chicago trains and buses.

in all my years riding subways, trains and buses, i have never been approached on my commute to play slots.

sometimes the most fascinating thing on tv is the doppler weather channel.

when i was little, i once watched the weather channel for 12 hours straight. this was before there was any program other than your local weather on the 1’s.

the sad thing is, i couldn’t care less about weather.

and i still have my ongoing vendetta against umbrellas.

i spend a lot of time with people who wish they were somebody else.

i think i also spend an equal amount of time with people who were wishing they were doing somebody else.

grass is always greener in somebody else’s vagina.

too much.

how about this.

this week in jenna theatre, jenna gets a phone call from a solicitor.
phone – hi, i’m with the benevolent give-us-money-please group. we’re doing all we can to help homeless children and wives of fireman. can we count on your support?
jenna – oh i’m sorry, i don’t have a job right now, so i really can’t be of any financial support.
phone person – oh no, we’re sorry to hear you're out of work. do you expect to be employed soon?
jenna – do i expect to be employed soon…no, i really don’t.
phone person – you don’t?
jenna – in this economy?
phone person – that’s a good point. so you have nothing you could spare?
jenna – no, i’m sorry.
phone person – well, if you get a job can i call you again?
jenna – i’ll probably not have a phone by then, so no…
phone person - ok then...
jenna - wait! maybe you guys could help me?
phone person- oh that’s not really what we do…
jenna – aww, that’s too bad…i thought you helped people out?
phone person - we do but...
jenna - oh it's ok...
phone person - i'm really sorry for bothering you.
jenna - not at all…thank you for calling.

see, i can be nice.

you never know what’s in the glass, until you do the shot.

metaphors for life…


PunkRockRunner said...

Taking height into consideration, aren’t YOU always a “little” something?

I was always of the impression that any form of public transportation is a bit of a gamble. Just like looking in the mirror.

12-hours of the weather channel? I’ll have what she’s smoking.

Speaking of gambles, this was a funny post but I really must draw the line and any type of foliage in the lady parts. No “keep off the grass” sign required there. Yuck…

Good day,

Dr. Punky

Jocelyn said...

Pretty funny post sister. That cracks me up! Great job!! :) I cracked up several times:)

BradyDale said...

This one was great. I liked the part about trying to be emo.
I'm mainly writing to say this: I totally have a vendetta against umbrellas too! Don't people realize that those little prongs put all of our eyes in serious danger? Ooph.

Lauren said...

Jenna Theatre is reminiscent to me of those bums on the street that kept asking me for money right after I lost my job. I was pretty close to punching them in the face. :)