there is a nun in the library.
i have no joke about that, it just makes me feel weird.
also there is a chicken in the oven.
i'm not catholic, but i find nuns intimidating.
whenever i see a nun or priest, my mind takes a flying leap into the gutter.
well, maybe not so much a flying leap, maybe more of a sashay or two-step.
i'd love to see two-stepping nuns.
never underestimate a two-step.
i like people but i hate they way they smell.
is there some sort of deodorant epidemic i am unaware of?
i had someone argue with me that they didn't need to wear deodorant.
i smashed some one's phone today.
it wasn't my fault.
they had a cricket ring tone.
you can take the girl out of the country, but you better not have a cricket around the girl.
i'm too lazy for stand up comedy.
it's too much work to be a workaholic.
i'll leave that to the people who haven't discovered sex.
just because i have tits doesn't mean i don't understand sports.
when you need silence that's when people will yell the loudest.
it's weird to live in a city that constantly smells like chocolate.
it is also impossible to diet in a city that always smells like chocolate.
there are truths in numbers.
there are lies in words.
and there are i's in lies.
and there are pricks on the bus.
i hate being succinct.
i hate seeing unsolicited penises.
i love a good daydream.
i would like someone to describe a work situation in which the words climb, latter, and box aren't used.
this week in jenna theatre jenna is sitting reading for her next class when a fellow student comes up to her in a panic.
student – ohmygod! did you get that email, did you freak out?
jenna (having no idea who this woman is) uh no? what email?
student – the email about the 10 page paper that is due tonight. i totally forgot it was due., i stayed up all night, did you get it done?
jenna – i didn’t get that email! was it on the syllabus?
student – apparently.
jenna – for multicultural right?
student – yeah.
jenna – i have no recollection of this, at all. what’s it about?
student - it was so hard. you had to have, like, 5 references and stuff on that case study at the end of the chapter.
jenna – holy shit, i didn’t know about this. (jenna frantically pulls out her syllabus) um it doesn’t say anything about that on here.
student – let me see (takes it) wait. this isn’t the syllabus.
jenna – it’s not?
student – no.
jenna – (looks at it) it is
student – wait, you’re not in my class?
jenna – i’m thinking maybe not?
student – ohmygod i’m so sorry. i totally thought you were in my class.
jenna – ohmygod you almost gave me a nervous breakdown! i thought maybe i was having memory failure or something.
student – do we even have class together?
jenna – i really don’t think so.
student – wow, well.i’d better get to class. sorry about that, i really thought you were in my class.
jenna (nods and tries to feel her face again)
i still have no idea who the hell that was.