Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Art of Driving in the Fast Lane

just for your information, the middle lane is not a right turn lane.

my hair smells like bacon.

the guy next to me is looking at me like he wants to eat me.

if someone asks if they can ask me a question, i always say no.

not cause i'm a bitch, but because...oh wait, no it's cuz i'm a bitch.

i enjoy life a la mode.

it's best if you close your eyes when i'm driving.

i could drive all night.

it's best if i close my eyes while driving.

you drive me crazy.

i am lacking the drive to drive.

it is misleading to call a golf club a driver.

it is also misleading to call a golf club a club as it looks nothing like something the flintstones would be interested in.

golf is not a sport because i cannot play it very well.

my blog, my rules.

your stench is literally smacking me in the face.

also, the bus driver is driving like we're in some sort of racing game.

i'd like to arrive alive damn it.

if i were a bus driver, i would probably try to make people fall over.

maybe i shouldn't put that on my bus driver application.

i apply myself but it seems no one is hiring.

this week in jenna theatre, jenna is sitting in the library reading a book. Someone comes over to talk to – hi. good book?
jenna – yea…
man – is it for class?
jenna – yea…
man – i was going to read but then i decided that i would not.
jenna – a bold choice in the library.
man – what?
jenna – never mind.
man – i am so bored right now. i have nothing to do. can i ask you a question?
jenna – no.
man – oh right. reading.
man – so what do you think about eating?
jenna – eating?
man – yeah, are you hungry?
jenna – no, not really….
man – you’re not? i’m starving!
jenna – hmm, maybe you should try reading…i hear it’s really good for that.
man – you’re really pretty.
jenna – huh
man – would you like to go out sometime?
jenna – no, i’m going to be really busy
man – you don’t even know when
jenna – i’m pretty sure i’ll be reading…

enough to drive you to drink.


Jocelyn said...

GREAT blog. I'd want to eat your hair if it smelled like bacon!!! If you were a bus driver, I'd close my eyes. :)

PunkRockRunner said...

I think the middle finger is for those who think the middle lane is the turn lane (but you already knew that).

Do your armpits smell like hash browns?

If someone is to ask you if they can ask you a question, they already have… that’s deep huh?

That guy in the library should try to get his money back for the money he spent on the “How to Pick Up Midget Models” book he bought. It either doesn’t work or he didn’t read it.

Punky out!