Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Art of Asking for Too Much Cheese

revenge is a dish best served.

i like my revenge with a side of peas.

mind your p's and q'.

please and thank you.

not penis, like i originally thought.

i still don't know what q means.

i could look it up, but why bother. i'm sure you'll do it for me.

don't take everything so seriously.

sometimes the end is the beginning.

i hate when people say hello young lady to me.

i don't go around greeting people with the obvious, so why should you?

"hello old man who probably uses viagra and should think about brushing your teeth."

i smell a rat.

what exactly does a rat smell like?

who has gotten close enough to smell a rat?

and how do we know it's the rats who smell bad and not the garbage they hang out in?

you're a dirty rat!

what does a rat-person smell like?

body odor?

cuz in that case i've smelled lots and lots of rats.

especially on the subway.

ironically, the subway is where i've seen a lot of rats too.

you clean rat.

i wonder if people using "rat" in a negative way has lead to people disliking rats.

after seeing that rat movie where the rat cooks i always feel a bit of sympathy for subway rats.

i also wonder who is cooking my food.

but i wonder that anyways.

maybe i should learn to cook....

i arrive with a small tornado cloud behind me.

it's something new i'm trying.

i expect the worst out of people.

it makes the waiting that much sweeter.

fruit salad confuses my mouth.

this week in jenna theatre, jenna is downstairs at the cafe ordering breakfast where she encounters ed (remember ed...the creepy security guard?)
ed - hey there pretty (mumble)
jenna - what?
ed - i said hi
jenna - oh, hey
ed - you getting breakfast?
jenna - yup (silence) you too?
ed - yes. i'm so glad i went on break now. what are you getting?
jenna - egg white omelette.
ed - you on a diet?
jenna - always.
ed - you need to eat more...
jenna - oh, i doubt that.
ed - no you got perfect curves, i like my women with some curves. no one wants to date a skinny girl.
jenna - uh...
ed - perfect curves. there was a woman who came in the other day. she had perfect curves...with these heels on.
(jenna's food is called)
jenna - well...uh...ok then...bye...

so there you have it.

i'm a big fan of ellipsis...



PunkRockRunner said...

There are several suspects as to the origin of "Mind your P's & Q's" but this one seems to fit this blog.

Mind your pints and quarts. This is suggested as deriving from the practice of chalking up a tally of drinks in English pubs (on the slate). Publicans had to make sure to mark up the quart drinks as distinct from the pint drinks. This explanation is widely repeated but there's little to support it, apart from the fact that pint and quart begin with p and q.

Before a marathon, I usually stand in the que to pee. Mind your Que to Pee? It could catch on.

Another funny post.


Rat Fink

Jocelyn said...

Hey look, someone did look it up for you! hehehe. People say hello young lady to me too...actually, some people drop the "young" part...hmmm.
Ew, Ed is creepier than before I think! great job sister :)

Benji said...

Just made my day, probably one of the best awkward conversations I've heard in months. I also wonder if there is a secret awesome rat cook who occasionally makes my meals.

Lauren said...

Haha ellipsis is the perfect way to end that! While I agree with Ed the security guard that you do not need to lose weight, that does not make him any less creepy!

Meya said...

LOVE the hello old man bit. This is very funny! I would look up p and q for you but i am too lazy.

Anonymous said...

Jenna, just wait 'till hello there young lady turns into hello Maam...you'll long for the young lady days. Ed is a creeper...stay away from him.
Love You,
not so young Aunt J