you should probably look where you’re going, because i sure as hell ain’t.
why do people say look out below when they should really be saying look out above?
if i look out below, how will i see the hammer that’s hurling at me from above?
and really, who out there is not looking before they leap?
if you are stupid enough to not look where you’re leaping, you deserve to fall.
you can take a leap of faith, but no one ever tells you where commence with the leapage.
it’s important not to look for something that isn’t there, because you are sure to find it.
true love is never blind.
unless your true love is actually blind.
i don’t think there is a pecking order. everyone around me just seems to peck at me indiscriminately.
i’d peck back, but who has the time.
i realized after a week of unabashed staring on the subway, that my sunglasses, were in fact, not opaque.
i’m not sure i’m a fan of the word opaque.
sometimes talking to you is like pulling teeth.
well, i assume it would be like pulling teeth, because i have never actually pulled teeth, so i’m not really qualified to make that statement.
and is pulling teeth really that difficult in this day and age?
and what the fuck age is it anyway?
how come when our cell phones run out of power, we say our cell phone died?
when i run out of energy and go to sleep, no one says i died.
boss told me he’d had enough of my lip.
just my lip? really? how about the rest of me?
oh mamma, it is gunna be a long, hot one.
this week in jenna theatre, jenna is pissed off because she got off the train at the wrong stop and had to walk to another train stop for a transfer. as she’s waiting to cross the street, a woman handing out free METRO newspapers approaches.
woman (screaming)– metro? metro? you want the metro. free!
jenna – no thanks
woman – it’s free metro. take it.
jenna – i’m ok thank you.
woman – why you won’t take it?
jenna – i won’t have time to read it.
woman – take it, he take it (she shoves a metro at a man)
jenna – i don’t want it, but thanks.
woman (screaming) – why you such a bitch? everyone take free metro.
jenna – everyone but me.
and then i ninja kicked her.
you don’t fuck with the awkward one.
ok, i didn’t really ninja kick her, but wouldn’t that have been fucking awesome?
sometimes, i’m just a hero in my own mind.
but then again, aren’t we all?