Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Art of Forgetting to Spell Check

you can always find the truth in a long goodbye.

you say goodbye, i say get the fuck away from me.

it might be a good buy but you should at least shop around.

i’ve been around the block.

it’s pretty uneventful.

unless there’s a block party, which is rare.

party in the usa!

damn you teen pop stars for being so catchy.

i prefer my punk, but it’s hard to pull off when you don’t wear the clothes.

clothes make the man look like a fool.

i hate socks.

i mean in practice i love them (who wants to run around with sweaty feet?) but i hate socks because there are too many rules.

i hate when my clothes have rules.

no white socks with black shoes.

fuck you, i’m wearing it.

you shouldn’t wear high socks with shorts.

why not? maybe my legs are cold.

no white before labor day.

no. wait.

after labor day?

don’t even get me started on belts.

i guess i’ll just always be a jeans and t-shirt kinda girl.

or a popped collar kinda guy.

the two are quite interchangeable.

change is good, or so people say.

i say ride the wave.

wave goodbye, sometime things will never be the same.

but as they say, catch a wave and your sittin on top of the world, although i bet the astronauts would beg to differ.

this week in jenna theatre jenna and her friend rocky were trying to order drinks at a bar in chicago.
rocky – we’d like 2 diet cokes, a stella, a miller lite and a seltzer.
(the guy goes and pours two beers and two diet cokes)
jenna – can i also get a seltzer? (blank look from the bartender) soda water?
bartender – (pointing at the diet coke) you wanted soda?
rocky – right, no this is right, but we also wanted a seltzer.
bartender – (goes to the soda machine and comes back) you wanted a beer and a seltzer?
jenna – right, i got the beer, i just also want a seltzer.
bartender –(looking frustrated) i’m sorry, but how do you want me to make it?
jenna – ummm…just pour it in a glass?
bartender – oh, not together?
rocky – oh no! not together, we don’t want them together!
bartender – oh....

you can find joy in the bottom of a glass.

i would be the worst self-help guru.

i mean, i’d be an awesome guru, and who doesn’t want to be a guru?

but maybe just not in the helping you kind of way.

most my advice would revolve around bacon.


Michelle said...

I wear high socks with shorts. My tube socks. Does that make me a dork of sort sort?

Tees and jeans and punk rock.



Jocelyn said...

Hahha I hate when my socks have rules too!
Next time bring a picture of the he gets it. Too funny.
GREAT post! Love you sister

blackstocks said...

Hurray! Great post tinyone! I can't believe a bartender asked you how to make soda water....only you! Loved it! Can't wait for next week's.

PunkRockRunner said...

Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the wave (you also end up all wet). Such is life.

I prefer punk too.

Clothes can make the man look like a fool BUT consider the alternative (naked reference)...

I wear a belt but I haven't seen it in years.

I'll begin contacting the bars within a 4-mile radius of your new place and inform them of your special seltzer needs.

My word verification for this comment is "exhali". kinda cool..

Funny in a Chi-Town kinda way,

RJH Esq..