Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Art of Failing to Climb Up to Your Potential

on a slow day, you can see forever.

a slow day is always made slower by the presence of muzak.

knowing chekov doesn't make you awesome, it makes you either a liar or dead.

or maybe a psychic.

now accepting donations.

don't you forget about me!

or forget.

do what feels right.

you can't make the situation right if you keep insisting i'm wrong.

i'd rather be wrong loudly than right softly.

i'm not sure you even know what i’m talking about anymore.

i hate that i know what sun baked urine smells like.

you have to love nyc in the summertime.

the city invents new ways to smell bad.

i wish my sense of smell wasn’t stronger than my sense of direction.

i wish i had a sense of direction.

oh well, it’s not like i’m a good enough driver for that to matter.

i will always give notice.

you are on notice.

it’s hard to remain unnoticed in a gold unitard.

or, things i learned at summer camp.

i always get emotional around this time of the month.

but i think everyone does.

who doesn’t love payday?

it’s amazing how many different radio stations can play the same exact religious music when you’re driving cross country.

what kind of wednesday is it where there is no beer?

this week in jenna theatre, while waiting for tall boy to come back to the storage unit, jenna is sitting on a cart to keep cool. a woman in a rush comes in and gets in the elevator. a few moments later she gets back out.
woman – what’s the code to go upstairs?
jenna – i have no idea. sorry.
woman – you don’t know the code to go upstairs?
jenna – no. sorry.
woman - you don't know it?
jenna – no
woman – really.
jenna – no. i have no idea.
woman – so, you don’t know the code?
jenna – oh, to get up stairs?
woman – yes!
jenna – no.

i may not have a sense of direction, but some things will never escape my notice.

something’s wrong here.

if your waitress has less teeth than items on the menu, maybe you should consider a change of dinner plans.

words to live by.


Jocelyn said...

Amazing blog! I get emotional on pay day too! Who doesn't love the smell of sun-baked urine? We should market that as a perfume...or car freshener.
So do you or do you not know the code to get upstairs? hahaha great blog sister!

PunkRockRunner said...

I've tried sun baked potato chips and I think I have a recipe for sun baked lasagna at home but I don't feel like making it anymore...

I guess knowing what sun baked urine smells like is better than not knowing. It could come in handy and help to avoid a bad-luck-streak on National Lemonade Stand Day. Those darn kids with their pranks...

You will forever be known as the "mean-no-code-girl-on-the-box" to that lady. Are your ears burning?

All the best,


Anonymous said...

The code to get upstairs is BIBLE...or maybe she didn't want to get that far.
Sun-baked urine...yup I know it too.
Nice job,
Aunt Judy

Lauren said...

The title of this blog alone is enough for me to relate!
Sounds like you are getting quite a taste for the midwest!
Again, Jenna Theatre---priceless.

MEYA said...

Freakin' hilarious. And good to know you don't like my gold unitard. Jenna theatre = awesome. LOVE the teeth to menu items rule.