Wednesday, August 18, 2010

The Art of Aged Cheese

as a rule i hate it when people tell me what to do.

but sometimes i wish someone would tell me what to do with my life.

this year has flown by.

except for the days when time stood still.

time is one of those things i feel i have no concept of.

who needs time when you have money?

i have neither money nor time.

which, i suppose is why it's so difficult to buy more time.

this is why birthdays shouldn't count.

in case you haven't guessed, it's my birthday today.

as per usual, i am accepting it with my typical style and grace.

for those who don't know me, this means kicking and screaming.

i wonder who invented those horrible birthday songs at restaurants.

i know i couldn't give less than two shits that it's some strangers birthday and i will not give them a giant birthday cheer.

now if this person was buying me dinner, i'll put on a hat and do the tappity tap.

no idea what that means.

please don't wish me a happy birthday.

but feel free to send money, i'm not sure how i'm going to pay rent.
i think you should be as old as your bank account indicates.

i have the face of a 14 year old, the body of a 20 year old and the liver of a 50 year old.

i can't wait to see what happens when they cut me open to count the rings.

girls just want to have fun...and vodka...girls really want vodka.

words to live by.

this week in jenna theatre, jenna gets on the m train in queens to head to the city. a man gets on with her in a red shirt with a guitar on his back. jenna transfers to the e train, the man does too. jenna pays no mind, it's a quite common transfer. jenna gets off and transfers to the 6 line. after waiting 5 minutes or so, the train pulls in, and who should get off right at the car she was about to get on was that same man, in the red shirt with the guitar. jenna still has no idea where the fuck he came from or how, if he was indeed on the same train with her, he managed to appear on the very train she was waiting for.

no seriously, this is worse than sudoku.


PunkRockRunner said...

Do you get frequent flyer miles when time flies by?

You came into this world kicking & screaming so it stands to reason that this birthday would be no different. I must remind you that, in NYC, no one will pay attention to you if you scream and/or scream.

In space, no one can hear you scream…. I don’t know why I said that either.

I’m confused by the red shirt guitar guy. Not as confused as you are, but still confused. If it was a man in a yellow hat then I would assume they’re shooting the sequel to Curious George. Maybe you’re an unknowing extra in “The Thomas Crown Affair II – The Umbrella & The Curb Heist”…… In 3D.

Speaking of confused, it gets better with age….. I think…..Wait, what’s happening? I thought I was balancing my checkbook…….Stands to reason? What does that mean?

Happy Un-Birthday Alice!!

M. Hatter.

Jocelyn said...

I wish you could buy time, actually I wish time could buy money. :) I still am wishing you a happy birthday! Great blog sister :)

Lauren said...

I like the part about counting the rings lol. Does that measure how much fun you've had? What's up with the mystery subway rider?! Maybe he's a subway ghost.