sometimes i fear i am incapable of dealing with human feces.
i’m not sure this is a bad thing, but it is something i have noticed.
which side of the tracks is the wrong side of the tracks?
how do you know?
do they put up a sign?
it would seem to me that living on either sides of the track would be less than desirable.
whenever i hear trains whistle i have to fight the urge to drop to the ground.
stop drop and roll over.
after a few drinks, i’ll stop, drop and go to sleep.
sleep is for the weak.
nothing good happens after 3am.
i have been reduced to mocking.
not mocking boobs, mind you.
you should never mock boobs.
bad things will happen to you.
rather i am now a mocker of all things purple.
i’m looking at you, grapes.
this week in jenna theatre, jenna is waiting for the bus at night to head home. a woman walks up to her.
woman – night
jenna – yes
woman – do you have change?
jenna – i don’t, i’m sorry.
woman – you got cheese?
jenna – cheese?
woman – i like cheese. do you like cheese?
jenna – cheese is good.
woman - i love cheese.
woman – why don’t you got cheese?
jenna – well, it doesn’t carry well in the heat.
woman – it melts.
jenna – right.
woman – cheese makes me fart.
(jenna looks around for the bus)
woman – i just farted!
jenna – but i didn’t even give you any cheese!
woman – just thinking about it…there i go again!
(jenna decides to walk)
sometimes it doesn’t even matter.
those are the times i drink.