Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Art of the Boom-Shakka-Lakka

you never hear about selfish shellfish.

surely they must exist.

you just know there's a crustacean out there going mine, bitch.

or a lobster not playing well with others.

have you ever had to pee at the canadian border?

it's hard to talk to someone who doesn't listen.

i never listen.

listening is hard to do when you yell.

listen to the sound of sirens.

if you don't know the answer, make something up.

no one is listening anyway.

try not to steal my ideas.

stop being so possessive over your possessions.

they're just things.

and they're not really yours anyway.

god i hate philosophy.

give me something hard.

double shot of whiskey.

i'm so thirsty i'm contemplating taking a sip out of that persons soda.

i suppose that would not be a socially acceptable thing.

some people look tired all the time.

i wonder if they're actually tired or if they just look like it.

only one way to find out.

we should outlaw rhetorical questions, don’t you think?

that wasn’t rhetorical.

this week in jenna theatre, jenna is in the elevator coming home from a long day of school a woman gets on the 2nd floor. jenna has seen this woman in the building a few times and normally they exchange hellos and talk about running or working out.
woman – hi
jenna – hi there
woman – been working out late again
jenna – yeah – how’s that been going?
woman – well, i’m trying to get laid here
jenna – haha, oh really
woman – it’s been a long time.
jenna – oh, i’m so sorry to hear that
woman – like a really, really long time.
jenna – well – keep at it…?
woman – i try. lately, i’ve been trying to work out whenever i want sex
jenna – oh, geeze…
woman – i am working out now like, all the time…
jenna – oh, look, my floor…uh…good luck with all that…
woman – i’ll let you know…

oh man, please don’t.

just, please don’t.


Jocelyn said...

Yes rhetorical question should be banded! :) Great blog sister. I hate those selfish shellfish :)
Good to know she is taking her sexual frustration to a good place and not just eating ice cream

PunkRockRunner said...

Do they have a 16-week training plan for Sex? I bet they do and I would think it’s similar to a marathon plan. Speed work, long days, proper stretching, hydration, sore nipples, body glide & a pulled muscle (or two) all leading up to that BIG day when you race (read have "you know").

Speaking of rhetorical shellfish, I bet it would suck to train for a marathon only to run a 5K….

You should make her (the elevator lady, not the shellfish) a finishers medal.

Your elevator sounds magical.


PS - my Word Verification was "Mingle"...

blackstocks said...

Haha! Great blog jenna.

I think you should try taking a sip from someone's soda and see what happens. It could give you the material for the next jenna theater!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious awkward today!!!!